Becoming More of Who U Are

Becoming More of Who U Are

“I want you to continue to become more of who you are.”  That was the comment that stuck with me long after my conversation ended with my mother. I thought to myself, Wow…that’s deep!

I replayed it over and over in my head. I shared it with one of my closest friends… My mother told me to continue to become more of who I am.

Then I started wondering, who am I really, what I’m I now, and what is left for me to become?

Over the years, I have spent a lot of time listening to conversations about how we are as living beings on earth and what it means to be alive and the difference between our mind, body and soul.

Still, I struggle to understand these concepts on a deeper level, yet somehow hearing from my mother that she thinks I’m headed in the right direction did something to me.


What does “Becoming More of Who U Are” Mean?


First, it made me define what those words mean to me. What I came up with was that, I should be more unapologetically myself. I should like what I like, do what I want, get rid of things that no longer serve me and always listen to my own voice and trust the process. Becoming more of who I am also means believing that as long as I do what’s best for me or take whatever I believe is the best course of action, I’ll never go wrong because I can’t “Be Me” wrong. As in, I can’t be myself the wrong way because I Am That I AM and there’s only one me.


Reflecting on My Becoming…


My mother’s words also boosted my confidence. They encouraged me while also forcing me to take a step back and reflect. In the process, I wondered:  what does my mum know about me that I don’t know about myself?  What does she see in me and have been seeing in me that I’m just grasping? What potential does she see in me that I haven’t even tapped into yet?

It made me look at myself and analyze my own potential and personal growth on all levels: physically, emotionally, and spiritually, which left me with even more questions. I asked myself, what will it take for me to truly become more of who I am, and am I willing to bet everything on my own potential?


How Michelle Obama’s Book “Becoming” Impacted My Becoming…


Michelle Obama’s book “Becoming” was one of my favorite books when it came out and still is. It was released at a time when I needed so many things. A time when I had so many questions and doubts about myself.   Her book had so many answers and hidden gems inside of it that the more, I read it, the more I felt comfortable in my own skin.

It was a weird feeling because I didn’t realize just how uncomfortable I was until I read about some of her challenges and how she overcame them or instances where she stood in her truth whether by force, choice or mere circumstance.  In all cases, while standing in her truth or acting in line with her beliefs, things always worked out. Reading about her journey of becoming made me begin to embrace myself even more.

I started with the not so positive aspects, and I began to embrace my insecurities, my limiting self-beliefs, and my fear of the unknown. I then leaned towards my greatness. I remembered all my accomplishments; I wrote down my desires and aspirations and vowed to use all my will power to go after the version of myself that I dreamed about.

Reading Michelle Obama’s Becoming empowered me to truly be me, to own my truth, to share my truth and to stand in my truth in any and every circumstance. Her book encouraged me to not shrink myself for any reason or feel smaller than I really am even when either others are trying to project their perspective of me onto me or when I do so to myself as a result of comparing myself to others (a thing I know I should never do).


How Michelle Obama’s Book “Becoming” Impacted My View of Motherhood In My Becoming…


However, one of my biggest take-aways from Becoming was my current outlook about becoming a mother and motherhood in general. It encouraged me to embrace the fact that becoming a mother and motherhood in general did not equate to career suicide nor would having a career mean that I would be anything less than a great mother. Even though I grew up with an example of someone doing both, my mother and the person that started me down this path of evaluating my “becoming”, I still had moments where I questioned the possibilities. I still had conversations where people were telling me that a successful career and motherhood was an either/or situation. I still heard stories of people, including myself, falling victim to the misguided and unhealthy views of society and work place bias.

In Becoming, Michelle Obama showed the world and served as another example for me that both could be done and done well with the right support system, motivation, and effort and in the right environment.  Because Michelle did it and is still doing it, I was even more encouraged to forge ahead with pursuing my professional goals, and to remember that being a mother is a part of who I am. It is a role that I should never have to be judged on or be apologetic about because in Becoming, Michelle went to a job interview with her then baby, sat the car-seat on the interviewer’s desk, did the entire interview with the baby present, and ended up with the job😊.

So, before the COVID-19 pandemic caused everyone to work from home and lessened the awkwardness that was the mingling of work and life, I was living it. I wrote job applications, interviewed and showed up to work with my little ones. I went from feeling awkward about it to making a space for others to wear their multiple hats, especially the mum hat and not feel alone.


Paving Forward Towards “Becoming More of Who I Am”


After all my processing and reflection, I felt many things, but most of all, I felt gratitude. I was grateful that my mother, my heartbeat before I had one and lifeline when I need one, continues to nurture me even in ways that she may not be aware of.  I expressed my love and appreciation for her giving me life and giving me the space to become more of who I am even while I was under her roof. I was grateful that even now that I am outchea adulting and tings 😁, my mother reminds me frequently that simply being myself is all that I ever need to be. I was and continue to be grateful for her reminding me that becoming more of who I am is all I should ever strive to be.

Paving forward, I embrace and welcome everything that is me, everything that has come from me, and everything that will come from me. My hope for U reading this blog post is that you do the same.

Before I peace out, I will quote myself from a recent U IN MUM social media post, “Accept yourself, all the perfections and imperfections. Life has balance, and for all the things that U think U are doing wrong, U are also doing that many things right. We are all a work in process, mothering without a manual.”

And, I will add that we are all individuals wearing many hats, including mother. Continue to progress towards who U are, while rocking all your hats, don’t let anyone limit U or put U in a box, and that includes U.


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That’s all folks! Until the next blog post, take care of yourself. Leave a comment if U have something to share about your “Becoming” experience or if this post has encouraged U to become more of who U are.

Dr. U
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Dr Grace Bickham
Dr Grace Bickham
2 years ago

Oh my God . This is true .Be who you are and avoid any external Influences

Love it

Dr Mom

Dr. U

Hola! I'm Utibe also known as Dr. U. I am sharing my experiences as a wife and mother, as well as a woman starting her career. My goal is to live a more holistic life, Join Me!