I lie awake thinking about hope, faith, and what it means to truly believe in God and Trust the process

I close my eyes but my mind’s eye remained open

I’m tossing and turning, and sweating even though the room is cold

Hot flashes it seems but I know it’s so much more

My heart is beating fast, I feel myself worrying

How bad will it be, this category 4 hurricane named Ida is really happening

Weathering the storm 1000+miles away but God, why does it feel like I’m actually there?

Ahh yes, my mind, body and soul have memory

16 years ago down to the date, it was another hurricane called Katrina

I remember the devastation, I remember the suffering, I remember the aftermath, there were so many losses

Lives, material possessions, future plans, so many forced new beginnings

Now we are here again but not the same

Now it’s all gonna happen in the middle of a pandemic, the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic

One that folks are supposed to be avoiding each other as a result, staying 6 ft apart when not masked

With a natural disaster coming, how will that work for shelters and first responders and your everyday good Samaritans and neighbors?

Who will be thinking of a mask while struggling just to stay alive?

Who will be sanitizing while begging to be saved from their caving roof?

Lord help us all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The peace I seek and long for is far-reaching

I cannot control my anxiety, I’m now weeping

I cry, I sob, my hands are shaking

Oh no, it’s extended to my entire body, every part of me is now shaking

Holding my face in my hands, I cry out loud, help me do this processing Lord!

I’m usually positive but this time I’m struggling

I’m usually strong but I feel my strength weakening

The hurt, the pain, so much loss is possible

Yet we have so much to be thankful for, if at the end of it all people are still breathing

Life itself will be the real present

I’m told by my friend that’s where I should be focusing

People living to tell their story

People living to give God the glory

People living to show that yes, miracles are still happening, so I shift my brainwave a little bit closer to that mindset

My God, how much can one heart handle, but what’s the better option if hope is not the answer or no longer useful?

Before the storm the COVID-19 pandemic was front and center

Who wants to risk flying, please tell me something better?

Driving is the better option but after the storm, trees will be down, power lines will be down, roads will be flooded, communication systems will be disconnected

It will be hard to get updates or be updated, fear of the unknown will be stronger and louder than the voice that usually speaks calmness

Life is a circle or should I say this circle of life is spinning

Things are cycling again leaving me to question what’s happening

What lessons remained from the last hurricane, what was left unlearned for us to be going through this again?

What new takeaways will all this bring? What shall we one day proclaim?

Lord, make it clear, praying for peace and clarity

Can it just make landfall where there are only trees and no humans around to suffer through it all?

Now the storm is happening

A missing roof with the rain water coming in while people are worrying about the flood water rising

How good is my swimming? What about my children? God, where will we go to be rescued? Will we even make it out alive to tell our story? All questions they are asking

Posting their inner thoughts and maybe potential last words on Facebook or whatever social media platform is currently working

God help us all! The water is coming in and rising

If I make it out alive, it will be surprising but that will also mean my story has not yet ended

Being far away, reading it all, feeling it all, suffering through it all, and wanting to save everyone

To show that I care and express my feelings, I press the care emoji (a sad face holding a heart) and leave a comment all the while feeling helpless because there’s nothing that I can physically do at all aside from praying

Lord, have mercy on everyone in the path of hurricane IDA.  Lord save them all, and let them live, Please!

Now the storm has passed

People are now left staring down at all their loss property and still finding a reason to be grateful

 

 

 

 

 

 

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But what if they just want to live in the moment

Feeling what they feel

Taking it all in

Allowing themselves to acknowledge the loss

To process the fact that they are standing in high water, though not drowning

Seeing the things that they once held dearly floating past them

Asking themselves, is anything salvageable, maybe some things are not worth drying

Counting the trees that fell not too far from where they and their family were once sleeping

Or the tree that’s now smack dab in their home, their only place of dwelling

They must now seek shelter, or be rescued and taken to a shelter where they will be without running water or electrical power

They’ll get to share the space with others that are also surviving and trying to hold it all together

All the while, not even thinking about the big thing that has consumed everyone’s lives since 2019, the COVID-19 pandemic

Let’s not forget that just a few days before IDA hit, people were still dying and hospitalization rates were still rising and we are still in the middle of it while all this is happening

A viral pandemic mixed with a natural disaster

The impact of it all,

All I can muster the energy to say now is

Thank you Lord for the lives spared, help us all Lord to take it day by day

We are in the recovery phase again Lord, so now what?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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