It seems like everywhere I look nowadays, I’m seeing something about boundaries. I’m not sure if it’s because I started reading a book on the topic but, I literally feel like I’m seeing it, hearing it, and reading it everywhere.
What Am I Doing With All This Input on Boundaries?
I am taking it all as a message. I figured since it seems to be playing in the background of my life and foreground in some cases, it must be a message for me, at this point in my life and I Need To Heed To It Right Now or at the very least, Explore It More!
So, I figured I better get to work. Yep, I figured maybe I should really think about it, do some introspection to see if I have any boundaries, whether I’m enforcing all my boundaries or where I need to create some boundaries.
My thinking led me to the following questions and answers below:
- How Do I Define Boundaries?
Boundaries are a sort of line in the sand, an encasing of sorts, or limits to keep things in and other things out. It can also apply to people, and places 😊. Within a person, boundaries can be discussed in reference to different aspects of the living being (emotional, mental, physical, spiritual). I do not believe that boundaries are permanently fixed once set, I think boundaries can change and they can evolve as needed with the person, and in their relationships, allowing room for growth.
Let’s face it, there are places I never desire to go, and others I’m not allowed to go even if I wanted to. In the same token, there are people I desire to know on a personal level but will likely never get access to them in the way I wish.
Why?
Because of Boundaries! My boundaries and those set by others that dictate accessibility; some are written, and others remain unwritten but understood.
2. What’s The Purpose of BOUNDARIES?
I think the purpose of boundaries is to help maintain order and to help preserve one’s sanity. We see it all the time on signs posted on properties including: “PRIVATE PROPERTY,” “DO NOT ENTER,” and “NO TRESPASSING, VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED” signs. These are all examples of clearly communicated boundaries for places WE ARE NOT allowed/welcomed to go unless invited and given special permission.
With people and personal relationships, boundaries exist as part of the larger roadmap to others, signaling how far they can go and where they would be considered “invading personal space,” “crossing the line,” and “not respecting boundaries.” In other words, boundaries exist to help show others how you prefer to be treated and within one’s self, to signal when something is not right and needs to be changed. All existing to help protect one’s inner peace at all times, and to reduce confusion when situations arise.
3. How Do I Think Other People Feel About BOUNDARIES?
Boundaries are awesome and everyone needs to set them and respect those set by others. With that being said, I do not believe that you should expect that everyone will go along with them. Some people will feel offended. Others will out right question you and your relationship with them, no matter the type of relationship (work, family, friends neighbor, etc).
For mums and caregivers to little ones thinking of boundaries with little ones who may not even know how to say the word, not to mention fully understand the meaning, I still believe setting boundaries is possible 😊.
Hear me out while laughing…lol.
We do it every day with the word “NO.” The word “No” is the simplest way to say boundaries, and it’s a lesson that can be taught early on and can stay with you for the rest of your life. Hence, IT IS POSSIBLE TO HAVE BOUNDARIES AS A MUM, even as a mum of tiny, tiny humans 😊. It can be learned and respected by all, irrespective of age.
My Current State of Mind on BOUNDARIES
The self-assessment process was a bit alarming. It made me analyze my relationships, and I’ll admit, I am not happy about everything it uncovered. I have found that, indeed, I do have work to do. The introspection helped me to see where I might have gone wrong, and how some of my actions or lack thereof may have been misleading. It also made me develop action plans.
I now know and accept the fact that I have to:
- Clarify preset boundaries,
- Set some new boundaries
- Better enforce the existing boundaries
I believe that these actions will help to ensure that I am more satisfied with the outcome of my next introspection. In addition, I hope that they help to strengthen all my relationships.
Blog Takeaways
My goal in this blog post is to encourage U to take a look at your life and figure out how U feel about boundaries. I want U to do something similar to what I did. I want U to take some time to do a little self-reflection but this time focus on boundaries. Define it for yourself. Look at the areas in your life where U may need to set some boundaries, enforce some boundaries and clarify the ones that need it.
It’s often easy to question why things didn’t happen a certain way or why people didn’t know to do certain things or better yet, avoid certain things after the fact. Doing this little exercise will help to make sure that U are giving clear guidelines and posting the right signs up. “MY BOUNDARIES, NO CROSSING!”
Taking the time now will be working towards clearly drawing the line in the sand to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding that may come from assumptions if left undone. Count it as part of your self-care work and when it gets hard and you have to stand your ground to make sure that others respect your boundaries, remember that self-advocacy is important for self-preservation and a huge part of self-care😊.
I am always rooting for U and looking for ways to help U take better care of yourself in the same manner that you care for others.
Share your thoughts, and comment below. Tell me, how U feel about boundaries as an individual and as a mum? Do you even believe it’s possible in #mumlife? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
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Great topic of discussion!