I remember my expectations and how far away it was from my reality. I figured it might be a good one to share. If for nothing else, I hope it gives other mums a different perspective and hopefully help a mum somewhere better prepare for her journey.

Here we go…

Going into labor, I knew that I was going to breastfeed my little one. I was a breastfed child, and after doing my research on the benefits of breastfeeding for mummy and baby, I knew it was something that I definitely wanted to do. Aside from the benefits I read about, the decision would also be good for the bank account because it would be $Free.99, in other words, very cost-effective!

My idea of how the process would go was this…I would push the child out, and when it was time for the child to eat, I would simply put the child on the boob. The child would eat, get full and all would be well with the world.

I never thought about when or if the milk will be there for the child to drink.

I never thought about the child not knowing how to latch on to the boob and suck to get the milk.

I never even questioned if the child would want to drink the milk.

I just figured, it will happen naturally because that’s how Mother Nature designed it.

….Boy was I in for a surprise.

A telltale sign should have been the fact that there are entire professions (lactation consultants, nurses, coaches, etc.) designed around breastfeeding. Why would this be needed if it was always as easy as bringing the baby to the breast?

I was naïve and I’m sad to say, my psychic powers failed me again. I had no clue what was ahead.

Ok, begin story…

It’s game time. I’m in labor, pushing, breathing, pushing, and breathing. Pop, the child is out…everybody screams, Yayy!! A girl child is born! [Sidenote: Excuse my over simplified description of labor, I’m trying to get to the breastfeeding part]

The fun begins…

My baby has a team of health care providers taking care of her, doing all the newborn testing and such, and cleaning her up in one corner of the room.  I’m still in the same position that I was in while birthing her because my doctor is still stitching me up. Get this, apparently my body didn’t get the memo of how much room the child needed to make her grand exit out of my body/entrance into the world. So yeah, I was getting stitches, a very fun moment!

Anywho, while that is happening, one of the nurses tending to my little one gets my attention to tell me that my little one’s blood sugar level is low and that we/they needed to feed her now. Then came the question.. “Which do you prefer, Similac or Enfamil?”

In my head, I processed this conversation as follows…Oh no, uh oh, you want a decision from me.. now? On what? Ooohhhhh….I have no clue about that or that but since you need a decision now, let’s see [Eeny. Meeny, miny, moe, pick a formula and go]… that landed me on Similac! So that’s what I blurted out to the nurse…Similac!

Needless to say, a lot was going on and the time to process it all was just nonexistent. For starters, my daughter was born with low blood sugar. Her first meal had to be from a bottle, Not Me, her mother. It was not the way I had envisioned and it was certainly not the way Mother Nature designed it. However, it was the reality and I had to jump on board quickly because at that point, it was considered a medical emergency.

I literally did not have a clue about either formula and honestly was still in shock from having pushed out a child, without an epidural I might add, [Go Me, Go Me, Go Me].

All I wanted was for my little one to be ok and I just hoped that they would be able to stabilize her blood sugar level. Of course, in the back of my mind, I still wanted to breastfeed her and hoped that it would still be possible.

After some time passed, the nurses retested her blood sugar level, which was still a bit on the low end but the nurses were happy with the progress and told me that I could try breastfeeding her if I wanted to; that made me super happy.

We finally get to this part…ooohhh exciting!

As a new mum, I had to wait on the lactation specialist to get there before trying per their recommendation. Finally, the lactation nurse walks into the room. In my mind, the job of the specialist is just to oversee the feeding process. She is there to just make sure that I am comfortable and to answer questions.

In Reality, …the lactation specialist does all that and more!

She comes in the room, asks me which breast I wanted to start with. She then had me expose the boob, and she squeezed my nipple to see if anything would come out. To her satisfaction, she saw colostrum so she said we were ready to try.

Ok, Wait, Pause…[Somebody forgot to prep me for this part when they asked me if I wanted a lactation nurse. You know, like they prep you when you first go to see a gynecologist. This is a whole new territory we were entering and Nobody, I mean nobody told me just how close and personal the lactation nurse would get. So if you are preggos and thinking about breastfeeding and may take the help of a lactation specialist, here is your warning. WARNING!!! BEWARE!!!…Things Can Get Real Personal. A lactation nurse may get all up in your personal mummy parts..lol!!!]

In all seriousness, the lactation nurse told me what she was thinking of doing and I consented to it before she did any of it. However, I was still caught off-guard by the request and would have liked a heads-up or something].

Ok, Now Back To The Story…

We then began the process of trying to get the little one to latch onto the breast, a.k.a. get the nipple in her mouth.

Going into it, I expected it to be easy. I assumed that the baby would be a willing participant.

The reality was a little different.

[Begin Scene]

Mummy: Hi sweetie, wake up and eat…[Mum is holding the baby all bundled up with her breast exposed and the nipple resting against the baby’s cheek]

Baby: [Sleeping peacefully without a care in the world][Somebody queues the sounds of crickets]

Mummy: Hi honey, mummy needs you to wake up and eat…

Mummy: Honey, we have to practice latching while the lactation specialist is here so that she can make sure that we are doing it right….

Baby: [Continues to sleep peacefully and unbothered]

[louder sounds of crickets ]

Mummy: [chuckles a little in confusion as to what’s happening as she looks up at the lactation specialist]

[End Scene]

Ummmm…yeah…..Babygirl was not a willing participant.

All she wanted to do was sleep and sleep more. So, most of the latching session was spent trying to wake her up.

The lactation specialist then said we had to make her uncomfortable. So, we started with removing the blanket, then the socks, then we tickled her feet, etc…nothing really worked.

In the end, we basically stripped the baby down to her diaper just to get her to open her eyes. After who knows how long…she finally latched successfully but it was a struggle.

Then… the lactation specialist said, ok, take her off the breast and let’s try to latch again,…and again….and…again

Each time having to wake the child up and watching her fall back asleep after like 2 sucks or so…lol

The Struggle Was Too Real!

We practiced for at least 15 minutes at every feeding session, though we still had to supplement with the bottle because mother’s milk had not come in yet. Also to help my body play catch up, the lactation specialist told me to use a breast pump.

The idea was that it would help signal to my body that milk was needed since my little one couldn’t stay awake long enough to let my body know that she needed milk and lots of it.

At first, I would go a whole pumping session and see maybe a drop or two which I feed to the baby using a syringe because as we all know, you don’t want to waste any liquid gold.

I remember being so happy that I was able to pump 1 ml of milk from both breasts after 15 minutes of pumping!!!!

Lol…

Like they say, despise not the days of small beginnings!

Fast forward, my milk came in just fine, my supply grew exponentially, and later regulated to the need of my child.  My now toddler eventually got the hang of latching and managed to stay awake long enough to get a full belly every single time. However, I will say that many times, she fell asleep on the boob, and yep, we celebrated many milk-wasted moments.

When it was all said and done, I breastfed her for 15 months! This was well beyond the initial goal of 6 months that I had set for myself.

Looking back now, I can say it wasn’t so bad. It was definitely challenging because we had many sleepless nights with cluster feeding sessions, sore and cracked nipples, pain from uterus contracting, bites during teething and just because, etc.]. But in my eyes, the benefits outweighed all the challenges we faced along the way and I’m proud of us for sticking to it.

Yayyyy…A Happy Ending!

To every breastfeeding mum out there, I’m proud of you! It doesn’t matter how long you did it, the point is, you tried. You should also be proud of yourself!

Feel free to share your experience and your thoughts below in the comment section. Answer this question, if you are pregnant, do you plan to breastfeed and did this post give you any insight? If you are/were a breastfeeding mum, did you have access to a lactation specialist/nurse/consultant?