Contained by Nurture

Have you heard of bonsai trees? I didn’t until very recently. Let me tell you the story.

It was a weeknight and I was helping my child prepare for an upcoming standardized test that includes sections where they are asked to read passages and answer questions.

The passage my child was reading was called “Tiny Trees, Would you like a pet tree?” By Kevin Kohler.

My child reads…

[ “Bonsai are not special small species of trees. They are a regular full-sized tree, but grown in pots and trimmed to keep them small.”] Excerpt from Tiny Trees, Would you like a pet tree by Kevin Kohler

At first, I missed it.

Although I heard the words she read, I did not comprehend the meaning and message carried by the words.

My child continued to read and I listened along, moving on from the sentence with the understanding that bonsai trees are a “type” of tree, a miniature type and a special breed of trees.

We get to the end to the passage. Time for the question/answer section.

First question-what was the main point of the passage? I think to myself easy-“bonsai are a type of tree and artist can make different shapes from them.”

My child, selects an answer different from mine, one that gave me the opportunity to say, “let’s go back to the passage to read again, to check if we are right, confidently sharing good test-taking tips of revisiting the passage to confirm answer choices.

So…Back to the passage we went.

Then we both read the sentence again…

And in that moment, a light bulb goes off! I was WRONG!!!

I went from a declarative statement to a question- I…Was…Wrong? They are not a type of tree?

Wait a minute…They are NOT a type of tree. [Mind Opened and message downloaded]

They are not a type of tree at all. Bonsai trees are regular sized trees that are made miniature by the technique used to grow them and the containers they are grown in. They can survive for years with the proper care and conditions(pruning, watering, sunlight, etc…)

It’s a Technique!!!

It’s a technique. Just another way of growing trees, a method.

So, while my child was sitting there trying to figure out what the main point of the passage was, wondering if we could move on to the next question, I was busy at work, working on a draft of what has now become this blog post.

Once I was able to download the message, the passage had a double, triple, quadruple-meaning that carried so many lessons.

For starters, I realized that what makes bonsai art even possible is the control that the artist/grower has over the environment and growth of the trees in general. In nurturing the tree, the artist could decide the size of the container, the shape of the trees, when to trim the tree, how much to trim, when to water, how much water, exposure to other elements, etc.

Basically, the artist/grower held all the control and made all of the decisions on the growth potential and shape of the tree.

And, no matter how much care, shaping, etc., the artist/grower showed the tree as the nurturer, they definitely took a full-size tree and shrank its potential in more ways than one.

With the bonsai technique, many different types of trees could grow and be shaped in various containers. Again, this form of art has been appreciated for years—and we are talking hundreds of years!

Centuries!!!

Is your mind blown yet?

Mine was!

I was amazed by the possibility of someone “easily” taking your favorite tree, and by merely planting it in a container of their choice, watering, trimming, and maintaining etc. could not only turn it into a miniature tree, but the tree would survive for years in a miniature state. And get this, if the tree is a fruit bearing tree, the bonsai tree could still bear fruit and it would be a normal size fruit.

Just Wow!

You read that right, in an environment totally different from how nature originally intended.

Bonsai trees have YEARS of survival and can be FRUITFUL!!!

Phew![head in hand, hand removed, now shaking head side-to-side]

That’s Amazing!

But also a little sad, and giving mixed feelings.

The trees were destined to never reach what was prepackaged in them, what we sometimes refer to as their “full potential.”

Why?

Again, Bonsai. A technique.

A whole tree, …potted and contained…, intentionally miniaturized.

Reasons To Be Amazed Follows:

First-amazed that miniaturizing a tree is even possible and is a part of the Japanese culture.
Second- amazed that bonsai trees can still survive even when unnaturally contained
Third- it is appreciated as art.
Fourth-amazed by the effects of a container on the growth and potential of the tree.
Fifth- amazed by the lifespan of the trees- the trees can live for hundreds of years and will remain miniature sized AND could bear normal-sized fruit if a fruit-bearing bonsai tree.

And

The Lessons To Be Learned:

Environment matters. Your environment are the places, people, or things that you find yourself around or surrounded by. Experiences in said environments can be shape-shifting. So, if U have been thinking about your environment, looking around and not liking the things that you’ve been seeing, Change IT!!! U already know this, but I’m writing it again…Change IT!!!

Why?

Because it shapes you and helps to determine if you will reach your full potential. And, no matter how much potential you have and were born with, no matter what equipment you came to the earth with, you will never reach that potential to the fullest if you stay where your growth is stunted ….ON PURPOSE!!!!

If you find yourself in a position where you cannot do anything about the environment, then please do the one thing that you CAN do and literally MOVE yourself. Don’t wait for those who may be “nurturing” you and trimming you back to their preferred size to now look at you and try to figure out how big or how expansive you desire to grow.

MOVE YOURSELF.

Staying in an environment where you feel helpless, stunted, contained in any way shape or form will and can only lead to one thing for you…unhappiness.

Change, Change, CHANGE Your Environment!!!

Survival is not Freedom. Survival for long periods of times in an environment that miniaturizes your potential doesn’t mean you are thriving or even that you are free. No. It means that you got used to it, adapted and are comfortable. You are looking at it as nurturing and embracing the entrapment. Don’t do this. Like any bonsai tree, you will still never reach your full potential. That’s why you are constantly needing to be trimmed and pruned. You are secretly fighting to break free but are intentionally being trimmed to fit a container. It would be different if you did not realize that you were trapped or being stunted in anyway shape or form by those that you found yourself around or by places that felt boxed in. You see it and are aware…BREAK FREE. Unlike the Bonsai-you actually can get out the pot but you have to make the decision and ACT On IT.
Monitor your time and activities. The things that you wrap yourself around or consume can also help shape you mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. As artist can use different tools to “train” a tree, these “things” can train your mind, body and soul to certain defaults that you do not want. Change your programs and pay attention to the things you read, hear, or say. All these things can literally help to shape you into a miniature version of your true identity. To maximize your potential, you have to monitor and change the programs meant to keep you small and add new tools to your toolbox that supports your growth in the direction of your potential.

Create your support team. Pick people that will help you grow, not those that will trim you down to their digestible or palatable size. Sometimes people can look at you and know what you are capable of. Some people may see signs of what you could be before you realize it. Pay attention to their actions and reactions. How are they reacting to your “potential,” let alone your growth. Are they celebrating you? Are they hating on you? Are they nonchalant? Are they looking for ways to help you? The answers to these question will help you decide who should be part of your support team.
Trust and believe in yourself. Sometimes you know what you can do but you don’t’ see the result because you are looking at the current environment or situation. You want to let the false narrative win. Listen…the realization of your dream is a decision away. The decision to break free and to trust yourself fully. As the saying goes…”Bet on Yourself” every single time. That’s real talk. Bet on yourself and trust that what you know to be your full potential is just that and know that you have everything inside of you to make your dream come true. You can actually grow as big as you want but only if you don’t allow the fear of freedom contain and overwhelm you. You also cannot allow the actions of others, to keep you from working on your goals and inner passion. If U see it, it is attainable.

And if you don’t see it, Take One Step at a Time until your vision begin to align with your desires. Make It Work and AFFIRM, AFFIRM, AFFIRM.

OK, that’s it for now. Share this with someone that needs to be reminded that a whole tree is inside of them and that they don’t need to be reduced to a miniature art form and contained to have value or be valued.

If you loved this blog post and want to continue thinking about it in your journaling or meditation times, here are a few questions to ponder:

Are U being contained by nurture in any aspect of your life?
What are some of the ways that your environment is limiting your potential?
Has your growth been impacted by your environment, if so…How?
How would U categorize (positive, negative, a mixture) the impact your environment has had on U, and your growth?
How can U be better supported by your environment? Are the changes U desire achievable in your current environment?
If the changes that U desire could actually happen, what would be the timeline for execution? What would have to change to make the wish achievable in your current environment if at all possible?
Do you have to move to better align with what you said is desirable?

Hope this helps U break free or helps you plan your escape journey out of the container. Leave a comment. Share. Come back to see what’s next.

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Dr. U

Hola! I'm Utibe also known as Dr. U. I am sharing my stories and experiences as a nature lover, and mum of tiny humans. My goal is to live a holistic life, Join Me!